You Know Better!
Peggy K. Mack
When I was small and made a mess, my mother often sang the same phrase of disapproval, "Now Peg, you know better.!"
I wasn't very happy with her song and felt I had disappointed her and let her down. At the same time, her voice of approval or disapproval was never critical and almost always directed at an awareness that I could do better and not designed to demean my spirit.
I grew accustomed to her willingness to guide me through life and valued that voice of concern, advise and encouragement.
Her passing in 1996 left me wanting and needing the one voice I trusted. I cannot remember a time in my life when she ever failed me. I cannot remember a time when she was not ready to forgive and eager to encourage me to get back on track and believe in myself. I do remember the moments when she was beaming with pride for my accomplishments and made those moments all about "her Peg".
There is so much, now, that I wish I could change about her last year of life but I will leave that for another time in my writing. Now, I focus on how my mother was the blue print for my own life with my children and in my teaching.
When I look at the Bible's descriptions of Christ and His loving ways, of His never leaving us and always being there for us, I can believe it with all my heart because I was blessed to see that same kind of love in my mother. She wanted the best for me through my own hard work and sense of accomplishments. I remember standing outside our church doors, after the Sunday service and she introduced me to a friend, saying this is my daughter, Peg. She is my baby. She always will be." At the time, I was a wee bit embarrassed because I was 40, a wife and mother of two children. But now, I would love to spend one day with her, again. And I know that in spite of our last year together, she would greet me with opened arms and love me as much as she always had loved me.
What a gift she was and still is to this day! She has been with Dad in Heaven for seventeen years this October. The time simply passes, the extreme pain has healed over like a wound which is now a forever scar, but the memories are more vivid, the moments of laughter have returned in my mind to replace the sound of grieving and the smell of her cooking filling our home lingers somewhere waiting for the next time I reminisce.
I pray for the children whose mothers have lost their way and are damaging their own children. They have no clue that their selfish behavior, their cold words of hate and their homes without love. warmth, safety and care will forever diminish the child. Many children will find a way to rise above it, to grow and flourish in spite of the lack of a blueprint to follow but they will forever miss out on the memories one has if they are blessed with a loving, nourishing, encouraging mom who loves her own faith and serves God.
God bless the Christian mother who nourishes her small child with love and encouragement and is the child's first understanding of God's own love.
Because of my mother's firm but encouraging love, I DO know better and only wish I could tell her now. It would mean the world for me to share my writing. I choose to believe that just as she celebrated my accomplishments while she was living, she celebrates them now in Heaven. The greatest gift I have ever received was the love of two Christian parents. I miss them today as in all days but cherish their never failing gift of love.
Dear Heavenly Father,
As much as I continue to miss my mother since she joined you in Heaven, I know she is no longer in pain and happy with Daddy and her family, once again. I give thanks for all she did to give me a wonderful start in life and to remain close to me throughout her life. Because of her guiding love, I do know better.
She designed an invisible blueprint for me to follow in raising my children, serving God and loving others. I ask you to give them my love tonight. Tell her how much she is missed and loved. I will do all I can to remain faithful in my faith so we can be together, again.
In Jesus' Name,